confidence

I've been getting a lot of questions about what an incoming 1L needs to prepare for her first year. Like everything else in law, there are differing schools of thought over whether to read ahead; whether to take a Barbri course; whether to have the last rocking summer you'll ever have (my personal favorite). To me, the most important asset an ambitious 1L must have is confidence.

I just got back from office hours, and the resident spaz of my section hyperventilated and rattled off incoherent questions for close to an hour. She began every question with, "I know this is a stupid question, but..." (and, no, my prof didn't give her the "there's no such thing as a stupid question" spiel.) While someone else was talking to the professor, she asked me a question, and apparently my answer conflicted with her understanding. As I spoke, her eyes enlarged, and the heavy breathing began. Then I fantasized about slapping her in the face, grabbing her by the shoulders, and saying, "Look, you crazy b----, chill the f--- out!" And then I daydreamed about slapping her again for good measure.

Contrary to what you may think, I sympathize with pre-exam panic attacks. I have them myself: two mornings before my Property exam, I woke up at 5am with my stomach in knots, and I didn't eat until 2pm that day -- and I never skip breakfast. But then I mentally slapped myself, yelled at myself to get it together, and attacked my property book like an animal.

What I don't sympathize with are people who indiscriminately freak out in front of anyone and everyone, expecting some sort of reassurance. I don't know this girl that well, and she only talks to me when she's freaking out. (Note: Law school is not filled with people like this. This is only one girl, and she earned herself this reputation. Ask anyone in my class. Anyone.) Anyone who does this in front of strangers day in and day out are sheer attention-getters, no question.

Anyway, back to confidence: For a lot of people, law school tends to do a number on your self-esteem, at least for the first few weeks. I'm a pretty confident person, but the second week of school, I wondered whether I was really law school material. Me! The girl who's wanted to go to law school since forever! I started to learn (through the helpful perspective of all those who have traveled this path before me) that everyone feels this way. To keep it from destroying me, I chose (1) to stay away from braggarts who like to destroy other people's confidence, and (2) to exude nothing less than the most carefree demeanor. This demeanor makes my fellow classmates believe that I know what I'm talking about, even when I haven't the slightest clue. This in turn insulates me from all but the most extreme situations of freaking-out-itis, which allows me to focus on studying my exams and kicking ass.

Moral of the story: Don't be the resident spaz in your section because other classmates will laugh at you.