meet the parents

My dad bought himself a 55" Sony HDTV for Christmas (which he unconvincingly told me was my present), and I gave him a fancy-schmancy DVD player to match. So why is he now watching Collateral on his 17" flat screen computer monitor via DVD-ROM? When asked, he responds, "So that I can fall asleep on my leather chair!"
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Last week, my mom discovered 100+ bees outside of her bedroom window. Wanting to get rid of them for free, she called the local sheriff. The operator asked her if she wanted to file a report, and she says, "No. I need someone to help me with bees."
"Bees?"
"Bees! They're everywhere!"
"I'm sorry, ma'am, we don't deal with bees. Maybe you should try calling an exterminator."
"Why don't YOU contact the Terminator for me? I hear he's in Sacramento now."
The operator was not amused.