meet the parents

My dad bought himself a 55" Sony HDTV for Christmas (which he unconvincingly told me was my present), and I gave him a fancy-schmancy DVD player to match. So why is he now watching Collateral on his 17" flat screen computer monitor via DVD-ROM? When asked, he responds, "So that I can fall asleep on my leather chair!"
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Last week, my mom discovered 100+ bees outside of her bedroom window. Wanting to get rid of them for free, she called the local sheriff. The operator asked her if she wanted to file a report, and she says, "No. I need someone to help me with bees."
"Bees?"
"Bees! They're everywhere!"
"I'm sorry, ma'am, we don't deal with bees. Maybe you should try calling an exterminator."
"Why don't YOU contact the Terminator for me? I hear he's in Sacramento now."
The operator was not amused.

don't annoy me

Four of my friends and I decided to work together on our legal research project today, and in front of everyone, I chastised one of my friends for using "gay" to describe our annoying project.

Welcome to my inner dark side.

The words came out like a tidal wave. I don't know what came over me. I guess that the combination of (1) the tediousness of the project; (2) the constant chatter that drowned out my concentration; (3) my growing claustrophobia in a 8x8 study room; and (4) my visceral reaction to any pejorative use of "gay" pushed me into crazy-land. I wasn't yelling or anything. I just went into condescension-mode, which is not a pretty place.

With my law school friends coming from diverging walks of life, I'm often outside of my comfort zones. I don't really hang out with Asian Americans, and I'm definitely not surrounded by crazy liberals like those at my old office. Sometimes, I bite my tongue to hear other people's points, to get a sense of where they're coming from. But those feelings well up, leading to situations like today.

I feel bad because I should not have said those things in front of all those people. I have a pretty chill image in my class (for those that even know me), so I think the other people were taken aback. Oh well.

inching toward the 20th century

My dad agreed to get cable! The last time we had cable was when I was a baby. My parents put me in one of those clicking self-rockers and put me in front of MTV. My mom likes to ask me, "Don't you remember watching Cyndi Lauper's 'Time After Time'?" Sorry Mom, my mental capacity had not yet formed.

Now if we could only invest in some call-waiting...

My 1L job search is officially over, and I'll be in San Francisco this summer. This was completely unintended: I hear so much about how regional schools have limited reach in terms of employment, so I didn't think I could get a job somewhere I had no connection to. The best part about being there, though, is that my sister and I will finally be living in the same area -- if not in the same living quarters -- for the first time in many years. This is a treat for me because I've watched Gary and Brian's cute little snarky relationship, and I've always wished that my sister could live close by. Of course, she could have lived with me in Chicago if she hadn't purposely rejected NU for fear of being associated with her sister. But I'm not bitter.

It'll be fun but kinda weird too. She already invited me to happy hour with her friends, and I'm likely have to meet her male "friend." I inherited social awkwardness from my dad, so I don't know how ready I am for these situations.

Anyway, until my last interview, my interviewers had been generally laid-back with nice low-ball questions. Not yesterday.

Interviewer: So, what do you think the root of poverty is?

Me: (Huh? Root of poverty? What the? Why don't YOU tell me what the root of poverty is? Dang, that's a really good question. Shoot. Poverty, huh? The Man? No. Can't say that. They're trying to see if you can think logically and thoughtfully. Hurry. They're staring at you. Poverty. Hmmm. Shoot. Still staring at you. Hurry!) That's a really good question. Let me see ... [an embarrassing barrage of blah not fit for publication]... and that's what I think the root of poverty is?

Interviewer: Um, okay. Um, well. Given that, how should the public interest community strategize to fix this problem?

Me: (shoot shoot shoot) We should all work together. Yeah. That's it.

I'm smooth.

Now, really. What am I supposed to do with 50 Gmail invitations? The people at Google are mocking me.